Are you getting ready to file for divorce? If you want to end your marriage because things have not been working out for a while, you need to hire a divorce attorney and then get the process started. However, you should also know about the mistakes that people commonly make when filing for divorce. You want to learn from those mistakes and avoid making them yourself to ensure a smooth transition from married to single.
Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. It can cause frustration for you, your former partner, and your children. Although the situation is hard for everyone, it is something you need to do when you are in a loveless marriage and you no longer feel happy or supported. When you want to get through the legal process as quickly and easily as possible, you need to take the right approach and do the right thing, even if it means compromising with an ex with whom you normally never agree.
Continuing to Argue With Your Ex
The worst mistake you could make is continuing to argue with your ex. The relationship is over and it is important to work on separating everything that you own together. If you were married for several years, you have likely accumulated quite a few items as a couple, including furniture, a home, and even several vehicles. When you continue to argue and bicker with your ex, things are only going to be more complicated and frustrating for you. Your ex may not want to compromise with you or he or she may choose to make things more difficult for you simply because you are arguing and fighting so much.
Even if it is hard to get along with this person because of what he or she has done to you during the marriage, do your best to avoid conflict. If you know that speaking with this person in private will only lead to more arguments and issues between you, do not speak privately. You can speak to your ex through your attorney instead of speaking to him or her directly. Sometimes it is better to avoid having that one-on-one conversation with a person when you know that he or she is not going to be mature about the situation.
Leave Everything Up in the Air for Your Attorney to Handle
Your attorney is there to help you and that is exactly what your attorney plans to do. However, you will still need to make important decisions and get involved in the divorce process. Your attorney needs to know what you are hoping to get out of the divorce, especially when it comes to the children and the assets that you have. You cannot expect your attorney to guess or to simply assume that you want everything and then attempt to fight for it all while leaving your ex with nothing. Divorce is about balance.
You should regularly communicate with your attorney about your wants and needs. If you have concerns, you can talk to the attorney about the things that are bothering you or worrying you. When you are worried that something will not turn out well or if you have an issue that you need help with, it is your attorney who will be there to assist you. Although your attorney will regularly handle things for you, make sure you are doing your part by communicating regularly with your attorney about your situation.
Taking Money From the Joint Account in an Attempt to Hide it
Never attempt to pull money from a joint account that you currently have with your ex to store it away in your own account or hide it. Not only is it wrong to do, but it could get you into a lot of trouble. While you may want to make sure that you will have enough money after the divorce, choosing to pull it from the joint account without letting the other person know is sneaky. Instead of going about it the wrong way, simply let your attorney know that a joint account exists. You can provide copies of bank statements that would let your attorney know where the money was coming from and who earned most or all of it. While you may end up having to split it equally with your partner, it is much better than attempting to take it all and having to pay it back at a later date.
Bringing Children Into the Drama
One of the worst things you could possibly do is bring children into the drama. If you have children with your ex and things have gotten quite dramatic now that you have filed for divorce, do not get the children involved. Divorce is something that is already rough on the kids in general. Some children blame themselves for the separation of their parents and you do not want your children to think that they are at fault for any decision you have made. Even if you are upset and your ex is driving you nuts, do not talk poorly about him or her in front of the children. It is going to make the kids think negatively about the situation and it could put more stress on them as they try to figure out who was in the wrong and who was in the right. Children do not need to know your personal business involving infidelity, finances, and other adult-related things.
Instead, you should simply tell the children that you are choosing to get divorced because you have grown apart and are no longer happy in the relationship. You can explain to the children that people change and you feel like you no longer have anything in common with your partner. Explain to the children that your ex will always be their mother or father and that the only thing that is changing is your marital status. Make sure you are offering as much support to them as you can instead of bringing them into the drama and causing both stress and confusion in their lives.
Failing to Come Up with a Reasonable Schedule for the Children
If you do have children with your ex, work on coming up with a reasonable schedule for the children as soon as you can. Although you might want to spend as much time as you can with the children, you need to make sure that you are being fair about the situation because the other parent should get to spend time with the children, too.
Once you have a schedule created based on what you believe would benefit the children, your attorney can go over it with your ex’s attorney to see if he or she would like to have adjustments made to it. The completion of the schedule may involve some serious compromising on behalf of you and your partner, but it is all worth it for the kids. When you do not take the time to try to come up with a good schedule, things might not work out in your favor.
Hire a Divorce Attorney to Get You Through the Legal Process
When you need to get divorced and you want to avoid making common mistakes that other people have made during the divorce proceedings, you should hire a divorce attorney. The attorney will offer the best advice while supporting you through this challenging time in your life. If you are ready to get help with your situation, Bouloukos Oglesby & Mitchell are available to assist you. Contact us at 205-395-5062 to schedule a free consultation.